Battle of the Snooze

9:44 PM

First and foremost, HAPPY DECEMBER! If you are anything like me, you have already begun decorating. I spent the last two days of my long weekend Christma-tizing our apartment and showing Jane and Emma all of the pretty, enchanting holiday swag. And then this happened:

Merry Christmas...ya' filthy animal.

Poor Emma.

But in actuality, I don't feel so bad.

When I was pregnant with Jane and Emma, my sleep cycle completely changed. I used to sleep like the dead. 8 hours. Through everything. I was even a nightly sleep walker; sometimes I walked around the apartment for HOURS as Hershey and Tyson sat and watched me until I decided to put myself back to bed.

So when the constant pee urges and insomnia started in my third month, I was not exactly the glowing pregnant woman. As the girls grew in utero, I grew out-utero (is that a word?). I was HUGE. And rolling from side to side in bed did not help. I would roll one way, and poor Emma would wiggle and move until her butt was sticking out of my side. I would roll the other way and she would wiggle and wiggle until her head was sticking out the other side. I would try to sleep on my back, but they would press on my vena cava and I would start to lose consciousness. And forget trying to sleep on my stomach.

When the girls were born, I was so excited for a full night of sleep. HA! In the hospital, I was poked and prodded every other hour or so. Then, when I came home (without the girls), I was up pumping every 3 hours. The nurses would tell me, "Skip a pumping session if you need sleep! You need to SLEEP!" That was funny, because if I skipped a session (which started happening frequently because I was hitting the SNOOZE button without even waking up), I was in major pain.

Fast forward to today. The little twincesses will be 7 months old next Friday. And they've only slept through the night twice. Yes, you read that correctly. Twice. It has been almost a year since I've had a full night of sleep.

Now, if you know me, you know that I devour books. And books that teach me something? Fuggedaboutit! I've got The Baby Whisperer, How to Rock Your Baby, Your Premature Baby, and The Happiest Baby on the Block. I've read this blog and that blog in the quest for sleep. And finally, FINALLY, last night marked the THIRD night in a ROW that Jane and Emma slept through the night.

Don't talk to me about this mess. I'm devastated.

Here's our schedule:

5:35 a.m. Wake up

6:00 a.m. Small bottle/Play Time (bouncy seats, exersaucers, toonies!)

7:30 a.m. Nap

8:00 a.m. Breakfast (apples, pears, bananas, apricots)

9:00 a.m. Bottle/Play Time

10:30 a.m. NAP (this is usually a long one, about 3-4 hours, and I DON'T WAKE TO FEED again)

1:00 p.m. Bottle/Play Time

2:30 p.m. Nap (little one)

3:00 p.m. Play time (Mama and Daddy come home from work, yey!)

4:00 p.m. Dinner (carrots, corn, sweet potato/broccoli, mashed potatoes, avocado)

5:00 p.m. Bottle (large)

6:00-7:00 p.m. Baths, Books, Dundadundundadundunda dun Dun DUN!

7:00 p.m. Lights down - Get ready for bed

7:15 p.m. Bottle (large)

8:00 p.m. Crib (NO CHOOPIES!)

8:00 p.m. - 5:35 a.m. SLEEPPPPP

Now, here's the thing. MY body hasn't adjusted yet. The first night, my eyes flew open at 3:00 a.m. and I stared at the monitor for the next 2 hours. The second night, I was awake at 2:00 a.m., Emma was awake and having a conversation with a stuffed animal in her crib at 3:00 a.m., and then I was awake until almost 4:30. Last night I was up at 4:10 having to pee, but laid there until around 4:45 hoping it would just magically go away. I've also been fighting this holiday season cold for over a week, so I was wishing that away, as well.

I think that the biggest issue with their sleeping was the dang choopie. If we put them down with them in their mouths, they would fall out and at some time between 1-3 a.m., they would notice and freak out. Something about waking up in a different state than that which they fell asleep in. Cray.

Also, in my mind's eye, in one of the books I read (I'm pretty sure it was Baby Whisperer), I remember seeing the words "Wear the baby out before you put them to bed." Which, if you think about it, makes sense. What do you do if you have energy and can't sleep? You get up, get a glass of water, visit the bathroom, make a ~~Honey-Do~~ To Do List. Babies don't have that luxury. If they have pent up energy, all they can do to wear themselves out is lay in their crib, thrash around, and CRYYYYYYYYYYY. And, I don't know about you, but, for me, that is SO hard to listen to! Plus, with Emma's cyanotic breath holding spells, I can't let her cry for TOO long, unless I want another episode like the last one.

What tips and tricks do you have to get your little one(s) to sleep? What experiences have you had with sleepless mommyhood nights? I'd love to hear from you!

And if you're in the throes of the Battle of the Snooze, hang in there. You will win. You're not alone. And YOU GOT THIS!

If all else fails, WEAR THEM OUT!