Leading the Double Life: May 2014

An Open Letter to Emma for Your First Birthday

Dear Emma,

My Twin B. You were the BEST surprise in the world. And last week, you turned One.

One full year has gone by since I first held you in my arms.

I fell head over heels in love with you from the moment I saw your tiny little face. I will never forget the mornings that we spent snuggled in the Big.Girl.Bed while Daddy was at work when we first brought you home. You were so warm and snuggly, and fell asleep so easily in my arms.

You still do to this day.

You are kind and sweet.

You are thoughtful.

You are cautiously curious.

Yet brave.

You love to jump on the couch and dance your pants off to HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog. I swear you could be sleeping in the next town over, and if the Hot Dog song comes on, you come RUNNING with a huge smile on your face.

And oh, what a smile that is.

When you smile, the whole room lights up. When I come home from work each day, exhausted and worn down, seeing that "Mama you're home!" smile gives me the energy and the hope to get through to the end of the day. When I go to sleep at night, I have to fight the urge to wake you up to see your smile one more time before I close my eyes.

You love taking baths. I could never get sick of watching your little feet go faster than your body as you haul-ass to the bathroom after dinner, knowing that there's a tub full of warm water and bath toys waiting for you in the hallway.

You are so smart. You pick up gestures and words faster than any other one year old I know!

And now that you know how to "give kisses", I can't get enough of your big, slobbery, wet kissies.

You love to tell us "where is Tidy!"

You love to clap for yourself when you're proud of an accomplishment, or when Daddy comes in the room.

You love to look at yourself in the mirror.

You also really love ripping things out of your sister's hands and making her cry. Haven't quite figured that one out yet...

I am the luckiest lady in the world to be your Mama, and I hope that I can spend every day of the rest of my life living up to the Mama you deserve. You have changed me in a way that I never knew was possible. As I tell you every night before I lay you down in your crib, You are the BEST thing I have ever done in my life, even if we didn't expect you.

I guess it's true that it's always the littlest surprises that mean the most.

I love you with all of my heart, Little Mama.

Love Always,

Your Mama

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10:19 PM
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An Open Letter to Jane for Your First Birthday

first birthday

Dear Jane,

Last week, you turned One.Year.Old.

Before you were born, we knew that you were going to have to be a fighter. And so you are.

You have been through more than most little girls your age, and you face each and every obstacle with a strength of spirit that I admire. Your Daddy and I have watched you in awe over this past year, as you overcame a premature birth, a surgery, illnesses, and fall-down-go-booms without EVER becoming bitter or angry.

Each morning, you greet us with a smile and a squeal that lights up our day from the moment we open your nursery door and say, "Hi Boo!".

And I can never get sick of seeing that special smile that you save just for ME.

You attack each day with a hunger for life and knowledge that I have never seen in a kid before. Forget walking, you stood up and RAN before you turned one. You are independent and smart. You are a problem-solver, and are totally content sitting in the corner waving a remote control around.

And just when I think that life cannot beat me down any more, you have a knack for knowing that "Mama needs a hug" and you run *sideways* over to me and give me a big, wet, somewhat violent hug.

It's The Best.

You love Small Potatoes and your wooby. You like to stop to pet Hallie in the morning on your way out of your bedroom. You come running whenever you see a bottle, and when you finish yours you would wrestle your sister's bottle out of her hands if we would let you. You love making silly faces.

You love your sister. You always have.

You love your Daddy. You always have.

And when I look into your eyes, I know love like I've never known love before.

Thank you for letting me be your Mama, and for bringing such light and love into my life. You are my sunshine, and I will remember each moment of your life, so that I can remind you every day of the reasons why you are so amazing and awesome and how loved you are.

I love you, Baby Girl.

Love Always,

Your Mama

One Year Ago.

Today.

10:03 PM
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A Year Gone By...

2014

First and foremost, thank you to all of you who entered the YakPak giveaway that I held on the blog in my last post. It feels like ages ago (almost 2 weeks already!). It's crazy how fast time goes when the shit is hitting the fan.

One week from tomorrow, Jane and Emma turn one. I was thinking earlier about all that we have been through in this past year. From going into labor 2 full months before my due date, to bringing home two little bundles of piss and vinegar, to stomach viruses and RSV, from teething to sleepless nights (a LOT of sleepless nights), I feel as though we have come so far from the day we said, "Let's have a baby!" How little we knew then, and how much love we know now.

We finally got some good news this week. Our permits have been approved and we are moving towards a closing! (More details on this whole fiasco later.) Jane and Emma will finally have a home for their second year of life on...

For now, we are here, battling boxes, itching our rashes (Emma has one that covers her from head-to-toe, lucky girl), and counting our blessings that we are finally moving forward.