How did I explode the toilet?

At 6:00 this morning, I woke up, picked up Emma, and made my way groggily out of the bedroom for her 6:00 feeding.  I had to pee, so I plunked the baby down in her crib and made my way to our hallway bathroom with my eyes half open.

Two months ago, our landlord sold the house we live in.  Before that, he "fixed" several things in our apartment, the hallway bathroom toilet being one of them.  Every third flush, the toilet runs for hours on end if you don't jiggle the handle or open the top and reach in to unkink the chain.  The landlord assured us three times that it was fixed.  He even had a "plumber" come in to look at it (I say "plumber" because it was his "buddy" so you know how THAT goes).

As I flushed the toilet at 6:00 this morning, I heard Emma screaming bloody murder in her crib.  I went in, picked her up, changed her diaper, and carried her out into the hallway, where I could hear that the toilet was steadily still running.  I muttered a myriad of curse words that I would wash my daughters' mouths out for saying under my breath, and headed into the bathroom to check out the situation, with Emma in a football hold under my right arm.  I lifted the top of the tank and reached in, balancing the tank top on my arm.  As I jiggled the chain, the tank top slipped off of my arm, fell into the toilet tank and CRASHED through the bottom of the tank, where water immediately started pouring out at 29382 mph.

I ran into the bedroom, screaming, "HONEY HELP I DROPPED THE TOILET!"  My poor hubby, who had just fallen asleep at 4 a.m. after a harrowing night with the twins, threw the covers back and came running into the hallway, where the water was slowly filling up the bathroom floor and creeping out into the hallway carpet.  Luckily, the hubs is exceptionally good in a crises, and he reached down behind the tank and shut the water off.  As he stood up to look at me through bleary eyes, the smoke alarm started going bonkers.

He reached up and pushed the button on the alarm, but nothing happened.  He held it down for several seconds, and the alarm blared louder.

"Take it down and take the batteries out!" I yelled over the beeping.

He unscrewed the alarm and, to our dismay, we realized that it was hard-wired to the ceiling.  It started to die down, but not after Hershey threatened to rip the whole thing out of the ceiling.  We stood looking at each other in the hallway, Emma sleeping peacefully in the crook of my right arm through all of this excitement.

After another screaming alarm, we finally found the breaker and cut the power to the alarm.  I fed Emma, and Hershey came into the nursery 10 minutes later with an inconsolable Jane.  We sat together on the couch as a family until 7:15 a.m., when we decided that we were too exhausted to worry about sleeping in an apartment without a smoke detector, carried the babes into the bedroom, put them to sleep, and went back to bed ourselves.

At 8:40 a.m., Emma, deciding that NOW would be a good time to wake up, started crying like a little lost lamb.  I swept her out of our room, trying to give Hershey some precious sleep time.  Of course, when I walked back in at 9:45 to pick up Jane, my poor hubs was wide awake with Jane cradled in his arms in the "big girl bed".  I carried her out, promising Hershey at least 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Here is my point:

I have an amazing husband.  He has put up with my quirks, insecurities, psychotic episodes, and OCD and has never complained.  He has supported me and been my backbone through some of the happiest and saddest moments in my life.  Together we have built this amazing, shocking, hilarious life that I wouldn't trade for the world.


It is so important to look at your significant other once your duo becomes a trio (or more) when the babe has gone to sleep and thank him for being there.  It is so important to remember to connect as husband and wife in order to maintain your partnership, because that's what your little ones need the most!  Say thank you, go on "dates", eat dinner together.  Give each other breaks, take time to do something for yourself to keep your own sanity in check.  I remember how scared I was that it wouldn't be "Hershey and me" anymore once the babies arrived, and that tiny little voice in my head is what keeps me coming back to him.



Is it going to be easy every day?  Absolutely not.  Will you hate each other sometimes, disagree, argue, forget to say "I love you" some days?  Absolutely.  Exhaustion does crazy things to people, and you are trying to adapt to a completely different identity.  You went from girlfriend, to wife, to mom -- those are all huge leaps to make within yourself.  Find ways to find your way back to each other despite how difficult raising a family can be.  LAUGH.  And ALWAYS act as a team.  Even if you don't agree, agree to disagree and present a united front, because at the end of the day, that's all you have.  Remember, for as much as you have sacrificed to become a mommy, he has made the ultimate sacrifice:  YOU.  As soon as you found out you were pregnant, he took a backseat to that baby. But it's just as important to pay attention to him, too! 


I'm no expert, but this is what I've observed, and it's how I try to live our life.


And when all else fails, there's always WINE!



Happy twinning!




Sh*t Just Got Real

On November 2, 2012, I took a pregnancy test on a whim.  My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for about a month, and I was pretty sure that our efforts had been in vain.

Hershey (yes, my husband's name is Hershey) was helping his grandfather with a Hurricane Sandy clean up job in Ridgefield Park, and I was home alone.  Our electricity had just been restored, and I ran to the store to pick up some staples.  While I was there, I bought a pregnancy test thinking, 'Can't hurt!'  When I got home, I unwrapped the package and got busy peeing.  I figured that I could go put my groceries away while I waited for the answer.

I was pulling up my pants when I saw it.

Oh sh*t...

Couldn't possibly have registered that fast!  I took it again.  Again, within seconds it was positive.  I started to sweat.

I picked up the phone and dialed Hershey's cell number.  Voicemail.  I dialed again.  Voicemail.

I grabbed my keys and downed another glass of water.  I ran to CVS, my thought process being, 'Maybe those tests are old, since I bought them at an A&P.  I mean, how many people buy pregnancy tests at A&P?  It probably has been sitting on the shelf forever.  They must be dysfunctional.'

While I was at CVS, I purchased a few other items, JUST IN CASE this was the real deal.  I bought a blank gift card, a rattle, and a gift bag, and ANOTHER pregnancy test.  I was now $40 in the hole.  This had better work.

When I got home, I ran to the bathroom, my hands shaking.  I peed again.  And again.  Both positive.  I was now looking at four positive pregnancy tests on my bathroom counter.  I called Hershey again.  Voicemail.

That was the longest five hours of my life.  When Hershey finally called, I urged him to hurry home.  I had been sitting on this news for five hours, and I was going to explode all over my living room soon. 

As soon as Hershey walked through the door, I thrust the gift bag into his hands.  

"What's this?"

"Just because you're a good husband."

"You didn't have to buy me-"

"JUST OPEN IT!"

I watched as a look of confusion crossed his face when he pulled out the rattle.  Then he read the card, and looked at me.  

Telling Hershey...

"Are you serious?"

I was crying.  That was all he needed to see.

We grabbed each other and hugged and kissed, and then he said, "I have to go take a shower."  He was covered in mold and asbestos from his clean up efforts.  I followed him into the bathroom and sat on the toilet, not wanting to be alone for another minute!

I excitedly made the appointment to go to the doctor the following week.  On Monday, November 5, 2012, my OB-GYN confirmed what 4 pregnancy tests had hinted ("Four?  You took four?  Why so many?") -- we had a little bun in the oven...

This was how we told our parents

One week later, during a lockdown drill at school, I felt something warm.  I knew I wasn't peeing myself, so I started to suspect the worst.  25 minutes later, I was on my way to my doctor's office, my mother in the passenger seat.  As the doctor found the sac that the baby was in, I saw a look of confusion cross her face.

DOCTOR:  Do twins run in your family?

ME:  No.

DOCTOR:  In your husband's?

ME:  WTF DO YOU SEE IN THERE???

As she turned the screen towards me, I was unsure of what I was looking at.  

DOCTOR:  Well, you're having TWINS!

The image that changed our life

ME:  HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!??!?!?!?!?!

DOCTOR:  Maybe I'll give you a few minutes to let this sink in.

ME:  WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M HAVING TWINS?  I LIVE IN A ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT, WHERE AM I GOING TO PUT TWO BABIES??!!?!

That was the beginning of our journey.  I called Hershey at work to give him the news.  In front of a room full of 8th graders, he almost yelled out a myriad of obscenities.  It took a little while for the news to settle in.  Our family was about to DOUBLE.  

Jane & Emma sharing secrets

Fast forward to today.  We are both off from school for the summer, and caring for our beautiful twin girls, who were due July 6th but arrived May 13th.  This blog will be dedicated to Jane and Emma.  I plan to offer advice, commiserate with those of you who are going through where I have been, and hopefully help you laugh in the process.  Let's face it -- it's difficult to get through this life if you can't keep your sense of humor.  Our home is filled with love and laughter, and I hope to be able to share some of that with you.  

In addition to now being a mom, I'm also a wife and a teacher, so I'll not only be writing candidly about my adventures in parenthood, but about what it means for me to be a wife, and how I'm surviving marriage, as well as some of my forays in the classroom, because teaching is my next obsession in life (after my husband and daughters, of course)!

Me and the love of my life
Me doing what I love

Feel free to peruse my blog for anything that you are interested in.  If you're interested in teaching, tune out my mommyhood ramblings.  If you want nothing to do with teaching, focus on the parent-ville posts.  Hopefully everyone can find something on my blog that will help or entertain them, and hopefully you will want to come back frequently

Happy twinning!

Happy 2 Month Birthday, Emma (L) and Jane (R)!

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